Amanda was struggling. I had been working with her for about 2 hours when her frustration boiled over. She just wasn’t getting it. For some reason she wasn’t catching on to the art of editing physical audio tape. I was doing a poor job as her instructor.

“Just stooooop. I…I…I can’t take…take it any more! Todd…you…you…you…are…such a NAZI! I was stunned into silence. I hadn’t heard that since I was a kid. When you have a long German last name like I do, you get use to that sort of thing. But, I had never heard that in college. 

Fast forward many years later and I have seen this scene play out time and time again. It wasn’t until I started using a pretty amazing personality assessment tool that it became very clear to me what happened many years before in the editing studio.

We all have these mostly hidden motivators (think expectations or needs) from the people and environment around us. I tripped over Amanda’s, because they were hard to see. Her internal motivators for interpersonal interaction were different than her outward behaviors.

The truth is we can design the environment around us to match these motivational expectations. When we can help the people around us understand what these are, we will spend most of our time in our positive and productive behavior – boom!

All you have to do is ask yourself these six questions to pump up your motivation and boost your best self.

1. Are you motivated by direct or indirect interaction in one-on-one relationships?

One-one-one relationships are part of our everyday lives. You may not realize it, but you are hoping and expecting personal interactions somewhere between direct and frank and respectful and kind.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

2. Are you motivated by a simple outline of expectations or a definite plan in place?

We all have varying degrees of expectations around structure. You may want loose guidance that gives you maximum freedom to choose your own way. Or, you may be more motivated by the people around you insisting on a certain way to do things.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

3. Are you motivated by suggestions or directions?

If you are in the military and you enjoy it, then you may be motivated by directions instead of suggestions. On the other hand, if you are an entrepreneur and thriving, you may be more motivated by suggestions. Many people lean in one direction or the other with these mostly hidden motivational expectations.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

4. Are you motivated by unemotional interactions or an outlet to share your subjective feelings?

You may enjoy unemotional interactions that focus on facts, tasks, and actions. Or, you may want others to to listen to you and empathize without judgment or trying to help you fix your problems.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

5. Are you motivated by predictability or opportunities for individuality?

You may really enjoy a regular routine and a conventional way of living. It brings out the best in you. You may not be too excited if someone springs something new on you at the last minute. But, you may have a friend that wears crazy color clothes that don’t match and craves spontaneous nights out on the town because she is motivated by opportunities to express her individuality and freedom.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

6. Are you motivated by complex ideas that are quickly synthesized to their simplest form or plenty of time to think through complex issues?

Some of you like environments where you can make a quick decision. It may not take you long to buy a house, car, or choose a vacation destination. On the other hand, you may like to percolate on things a bit longer. It may motivate you to think through complex decisions in a way that may not motivate others.

What part of this spectrum motivates you more?

Understanding these unique and different dimensions of motivational needs unlocks huge reservoirs of energy, fulfillment, and satisfaction in us. We just don’t often take the time to fully understand where we stand on these mostly hidden motivators. And, when we do take the time, we may not share these insights with others.

As a Founding CEO, when we do choose to share, we can move mountains. And, we can avoid the types of conflict that occurred between Amanda and me.

If you want to find out more about these powerful motivators, check out “The Birkman Method” book and assessment. I think you’ll be glad you did.